Brenda Carey - Testimony

Brenda Carey

Testimony of Brenda Carey...

I was born and raised in Barre, Vermont. My mother was very strict and expected complete obedience. As I got older, I said her expectations were high because I was the only child she was able to have so she had to get it right the first time. She could be very heavy handed if I disobeyed. But I always knew she loved me very much and was very proud of me. My dad was the “fun” parent. He rarely scolded me and never punished me. We would sing and dance in the kitchen and wrestle in the living room. He taught me to “drive” a boat, and in the summer we would go to the lake and fish and talk about nature. My mom never came with us. She had to stay home and clean the house. I always figured she didn’t know what she was missing. But now that I am a wife and mother, I think this may have been a time for her to be by herself for just a little while to take care of some of her own needs while taking a break from ours.

We were a family that believed in God, but we did not know Jesus as personal Lord and Savior. We attended church on an irregular basis and thought that being good citizens and being kind to others was how we got to Heaven. However, there was always a little corner of emptiness in my heart that never seemed to be filled. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8

Being an only child can be lonely, but when I was 11 years old I met another lonely little girl who became my very best friend and remains so to this day. God knew then that our lives would parallel over the years and we would grow in our love for Him while supporting each other. Even with the blessing of this little girl in my life there was that little corner of emptiness in my heart.

I married my high school sweetheart and 3 years later we had our son. Two and a half years later we had our daughter. I had a full and busy life. Those were the days of, “I am woman hear me roar!” and I was doing it all: taking care of a family and home and working 40 hours a week. But still there was that corner of emptiness in my heart that never seemed to be filled no matter how exhausted I was from my busy days and nights. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

It was the spring of 1976 and my sister-in-law began to talk to me about this “person” named Jesus and how we must be born again and have a personal relationship with Him. I thought she was a little weird. How do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? He used to be a person, but He’s not a person now……is he? She explained to me that if I came before God and confessed my sins and asked Jesus into my life He would forgive me and wipe the slate clean. He would fill that empty place in my heart. She was a new Christian and so excited to share the “Good News.” She wanted me to just drop to my knees and do it. I didn’t ask Jesus into my heart that night, but as the days went by and that corner of emptiness remained I went before God and said, “If you are real, Jesus, come into my life. I am sorry for the mistakes I have made. Come into my heart and show me the way you would have me go.” “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.” John 10:9

At this same time, my very best friend who was also now married with children and living in Hinesburg was also hearing the “Good News.” She called me one day and said, “What do you think of this Jesus thing?” We got so excited. Here we were miles apart, but God was still interweaving our lives. He was providing confirmation that we were born again of the Spirit and we were on the right track of discovering His will for our lives. He brought us together in childhood and was keeping us together into eternity. “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25

Over the next few months I met a wonderful group of Christians who preached the Word of God and through example and study showed me how to discern what God would have for me personally. No longer was I being told what to think and what to believe. No longer was I told that I should not read the Bible because I could not understand it anyway. In fact, just the opposite was true. I was encouraged to read my Bible every day and study God’s word on my own as well as in on-going Bible studies to discern God’s will for my life. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

I came to understand that it was not because of what I did or who I am, but because of who Jesus is and what He did for me. I could not be good enough for Jesus to love me more. And I could not be bad enough for Jesus to love me less. What might be an important change in one person’s life may not necessarily be what Jesus was working on in my life. Hence, a “personal” relationship with Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever” (including Brenda Carey) “believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

As I studied God’s word I knew that my next decision was to be baptized by full immersion. What an awesome feeling coming up out of that water! My hands were raised to God and I knew that I knew that I knew what Jesus said was true, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.” John 14:6

It was almost 30 years ago that I asked Jesus into my heart. There have been many ups and downs and some of the journeys of change have been long and hard, but thirty years ago Jesus filled that empty corner of my heart and He has remained the stability in my life. He is always there. I may ebb and flow, but he remains steadfast, never leaving or forsaking me. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

My high school sweetheart and I have been married 37 years now. And my very best friend is still my very best friend. Our lives have not taken all the turns we expected, or in some cases even wanted, but we continue to encourage and support each other knowing that what we really want in our lives is whatever God would have for each of us. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28